If Women's Mags were High Schoolers (IMHO)

Vogue would be the legend, the long-since-graduated heroine who lives on in whispered stories. Marie Claire would be the queen bee, long-time girlfriend of the quarterback, former-BFF of recent graduate ELLE and erstwhile trend setter. Marie's comrade Cosmo thinks she's the new Vogue, but she's not. You see, Cosmo's great-grandmother was rather famous and important, and her mom was a great feminist, and Cosmo thinks she's a little of each of them, but she's really kind of a slut. Her lackey duo, Glamour and Allure, are like all followers: probably better than their leader, but overshadowed by her generally loud look and manner. Cosmo thinks she should be dating Esquire, but she actually belongs with GQ. Meanwhile, Esquire, a graduate of Mag High, is having an affair with Vogue, who's quite the cougar.

Cosmo's little sister CosmoGirl! died in a drunk driving accident. She was the drunk one. And this wasn't CosmoGirl!'s first experience with DUI. No, a few years back she fatally wounded YM. They were driving on the same one-lane road, and CosmoGirl! was going the wrong way. CosmoGirl!'s step sister Seventeen has assumed her post of alpha dog, but with a lukewarm reception. Meanwhile, YM, an organ donor, lives on in TeenVogue, who has the sense to take after her big sister.